Polygamous, Men?

A recent discussion between friends, on the topic of cheating and marriage, led to me revealing my personal theory; that somehow contradicts my known stance of low tolerance of men who cheat.

My theory?  ……well, that generally, men may be……. polygamous

I have tried to steer away from exposing this concept as it certainly doesn’t help in my arguments against cheating; so this can be misunderstood and will take me writing a book to explain this. So let’s see how I capture this on one page …

Men may lust after other women, even if they are in a solid relationship. Men are easily aroused by the physically and by what is seen…and I think, psychologically, that their Id (pleasure seeking drive) is more intense than their superego (the values and morals that can control the Id); so the ego (the you, in the middle) has a greater battle to decide between the two.

But just because I think that men are polygamous doesn’t mean that I believe they were created that way. In my opinion it has a lot do with nurture than nature; our patriarchal society, religious interpretation, history, the entertainment industry etc. have influenced this weakness.

So even with the possible psychological explanation, most of it is learned behaviour and can be unlearned…..just pump up your superego!.

Women on the other hand are more internal and mostly slow burners but once the flames are ignited it can be a lot more difficult to douse. That’s another topic.

Undeniably we are created differently and as genders we have our varying strengths and weaknesses but statistically and historically men have a greater weakness in the resistance of sexual temptation.

Thing is, women (even more evident these modern times) are fast matching men in cases of infidelity, which is the issue of polygamy.

However marriage in its monogamous form works within a context of rules and boundaries and (unless you live under a rock) you should know this already.

So in this debate of polygamy, my conclusion is that whatever your thoughts or belief are, just understand what is required as a married spouse.

ONCE married it is too late to reconsider; and yes you have the option of divorce if you realize it was not meant for you. BUT! Don’t cheat and retrospectively use this argument as an excuse.

Now if both partners(and others) agree to create and abide by different rules, that’s another matter, and between those two.

What are your thoughts on fidelity, men, women in marriage? Share in the comments below.